It’s been a while.  If you didn’t know already, I had a second miscarriage in August of 2010 at 12 weeks along (story of my first miscarriage  here and here…and here).  It was flabberghasting to imagine that such a thing could not only happen to me once, but twice.  The second miscarriage is a whole long story, but I’m not going to get into the details now.  I’ve had good days and bad days since the first and second miscarriage.  This summer I’ve had mostly good days, but lately for some reason I’ve had sad days.  This morning I was in tears hearing the song in church “all I know is we’re not home yet, this is not where I belong.  Take this world and give me Jesus”.  It made me think how there will be no more dying, or pain, or tears in heaven.  We will be reunited with loved ones lost.  I imagined holding my two precious babies that have gone straight to be with Jesus.  I guess it’s a joy to know that these two children have never and will never know the pain of this life, but rather skipped straight to heavenly perfection with God himself.  What a joyful life they must be experiencing.  My thoughts this morning were, “I MISS them”.  I just miss the child that I never got to hold.  How can you miss someone you never even knew?  Never even saw face to face.  I feel like there’s a hole in my life.  Sometimes I feel like someone who has lost a limb and often has phantom feelings and pains in the limb that is no longer there.  I feel that I should be holding a baby or one or two year old.  I should be mothereing this child.  I am choosing to take this energy and mother my two precious boys to the best of my ability.  I am so thankful God allowed me the priveledge of mothereing these two.  I do admit that I often quesiton God.  Not in a manner that is angry at God, but rather I just ask WHY?  Why did God allow this, or want this?  I just don’t understand.  I guess sometimes crappy things just happen because this is a sinful world.  Maybe God was protecting me.  I just wish I knew God’s logic.  The only choice I really have is to TRUST that He knows better than I do.  That even when I don’t understand, He wants what is perfect and best for me.  Jeremiah 29:11.

Sometimes I also wonder, does anyone else feel this way?  I know many others who have had miscarriages and they’ve just moved on and don’t seem to feel the loss at all anymore.  Why am I so overly emotional??

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Well hello all!  It’s been a while since I’ve updated the family status in the blogging world.  Facebook is the rage nowadays and when you’re pressed for time, it’s like a one sentence blog, quick and easy.  I heard someone say, “blogging is so 2007”.  Ha! LOL.   Anyways, I’m going to attempt to give you the short and sweet summary of the last three months of our life.  Believe it or not, alot has been going on!

Bradley lost his first tooth a few weeks ago!  We were on the playground at Chic-fil-a and he literally lost it!  I just noticed it was gone and said, “Hey!  Bradley!  Where’s your tooth?!”  He didn’t even know it had come out!  We wrote the tooth fairy a note explaining what had happened and left it under his pillow.  She accepted the note in place of a tooth and left B $2!  Bradley is finishing up pre-k and will be graduating in a few weeks!  Hard to believe!  He also mastered riding a two wheel bike with no training wheels!  He just got on and took off!  My little boy is growing up so fast.   He knows all his letters and sounds and is reading small words.  I knowwith just a little instruction next year in kindergarten he will no doubt be reading by Christmas.

Caleb has said good-bye to sippy cups and is now drinking from big boy cups!  It was a rough two days when I first took them away.  I think he went into withdrawals like a drug addict!  He screamed and cried for his “ippy” cup, but then something clicked and he picked up the big boy cup and started drinking, and has been fine ever since.  We’ve also started potty training, but it could be a long process.  For two days we tried very intensely and he was frustrated, and I thought I was losing my mind, so we backed off.  Now he sits on the potty if he wants to, and if he refuses, then that’s ok with me too.  It’s there whenever he’s ready, but NO stressing allowed for either of us!  He’s talking up a storm and parrot’s everything we say.  He’s still struggling with constipation, and we’ve gone back to soy milk (again).  I have a feeling we may be visiting the doctor again soon about that issue.  That complicates potty training as well. 

Chris ran a half iron man triathalon in April.  He was amazing!  We’re talking a I don’t know how long swim, followed by a 5o-some mile bike ride and then a half marathon!  That’s a 13 mile run!  He did it all in the rain too!  It was a nasty day, but he did it!!  Then in March he did an Olympic distance triathalon, which is actually shorter than a half iron man.  This man is amazing!  We plan on doing one together in July here in town.  Chris works so hard to support our family.  Most evenings and late nights he’s responding to hundreds of emails that he’s received during the day when he’s on the road.  He took a well needed and deserved vacation week two weeks ago and just chilled out.  He spent several nights playing video games with his friends till 5 in the morning, but good for him!  He deserved it.  He’s taking another vacation week off this month too!  And now me and the kids will be here all day to keep him company!  Chris is the proud new owner of another hand gun too.  Happy Father’s Day!  Early!!!! 

I’m enjoying my summer vacation so far, even though it’s been so busy and hectic.  I’m taking two graduate courses this term, and they’re really fast paced, so I have to work on that sort of stuff alot.  I’ll do my internship this fall and be DONE and have a master’s degree in December.  Yeah!  What will I do with myself in the evenings now?  Huh?  Relax?  Read a book for pleasure?  What’s that??  I’ll be teaching kindergarteners at church beginning this month too.  It should be pretty fun, I’ll have a class of 5-6 kindergarten girls that I’ll move up with as they move up through the grade levels.  The idea is to build a relationship with the same group of girls.  My birthday is tomorrow.  I’ll be 33, which logically I KNOW is still very young, but this is the first year that I’ve ever felt like I’m starting to get kinda old.  Turning 30 was fine, 31, 32, no problem, but this year, I’m thinking…gosh I’m closer to 35.  Still young.  Still young.  Still young.   I had an eye doctor’s appointment today which reminded me of my increase in years as well.  My one good eye (still bad mind you, but better than the really bad one) got even worse and requires an even higher prescription.  That’s what happens as you get older said the doc.  Great.  I’m very thankful for my vision, that is can be corrected with contacts and glasses, and that my eyes are healthy, but I hope my kids get Chris’s eyes.  He’s so stinkin’ lucky.  He has eyes like an eagle. 

Well, there you go, three months in a nutshell!  I’ll try to keep you updated more often.

For the weekend anyways!  Two kids, two adults, two dogs, Chuck the goldfish, and now Piper the bunny rabbit.  Piper is the bunny from the science lab at my school.  I checked her out for the weekend!  We technically have even more than eight, because lil’ Piper is with child!  With bunnies I guess I should say.  She is due around March 1st, which isn’t really that far away, but our science teacher assured me she wouldn’t be having her babies this weekend.  I don’t know nothin’ bout birthin’ no bunnies!  We are really thrilled to have her here though.  Just for the weekend mind you!!  The girls at work said, “Don’t let the kids talk you into keeping her!”  Don’t worry!!!!!  I have enough to take care of around here without adding a rabbit to the mix.  But it is fun just for the weekend.  We get all the joy a bunny brings and then get to send her back on Monday!  Just like grandkids!  All of us have  enjoyed holding her and petting her.  She’s very nice and has never in her life bit anyone.  She’s handled by children all day, everyday at school. 

Here’s Piper when she first arrived.

Caleb and me with Piper.  Caleb wasn’t thrilled about having his picture taken.  Bradley took this one btw!

We discovered that Piper really loves lettuce.

So sweet.

Piper chillin’ with an apple slice on Chris’s lap.

Piper’s new best friend.

My little guy showed so such bravey today!  We went for Bradley’s five year old checkup and he had to get three shots!  We went to a different office than we usually go to because it was the only appointment I could get him into and he needed updated immunization records for school this week.  Anyways, they took his blood pressure, did a urine sample, height, weight, eyes, ears check and everything came back great!  He’s 20/30 by the way (thank goodness he has his daddy’s eyes and not mine), and is in the 75% for height and weight.  Everything else was perfect too.  What a blessing from God to have a healthy child.  Then the doctor did a physical exam and all was still well.  After she left, she said the nurse would be in in a few minutes to give the shots.  She didn’t say the word “shot” but I had to let Bradley know what was coming.  I had told him earlier in the morning that he might need to have a shot, so he would be prepared.  As we sat there, for about five minutes I could see his anxiety building and building.  He said several times, “Mommy, I really don’t want to do this” and “Mommy, can we just leave now?”  I reassured him (tried to anyway) that it would be just a little pinch and in a second it would be over.  I told him that everybody has to get these shots when they turn five to keep them from getting really really sick.  He wasn’t going for it.  Well, when the nurse came in, we realized that it was going to be three shots!  He was soooo brave for the first two, and she warned us that the third one was the thickest and would be the toughest.  As the needle went in and out, Bradley’s eyes filled with tears, and so did mine!  He never cried hysterically, but I think a single tear did fall down his cheek.  After the nurse left the room, he told me, “Mommy, I don’t like this doctor’s office”.  I had to giggle at that.  He also asked, “Do I have to do this again when I turn six?”  What’s funny about that is I remember asking my mom the SAME thing when I got my five year old shots!  I don’t remember much from when I was five, but I do remember that!!!  I remember feeling so relieved when she told me that I wouldn’t!!!  The nurse told us as we left that Bradley won’t need any more until 7th grade! Whoo hooo!! 🙂

After Bradley composed himself, he walked out of the room holding his arm out awkwardly apart from the rest of his body.  I asked him if he though ice cream might make him feel better and he said yes.  🙂  I had also bribed him before the shot that if he was very strong and brave I would take him to Toys R Us to buy him any toy that he would like.  So, after we left the doctor’s office we headed to Toys R Us, which was convienently right around the corner from the doctor’s office!  We had a nice time and browsed every square inch of the boys toy section.  Twice.  Bradley decided on an aircraft carrier. 

I was truely so proud of Bradley today.  I have heard stories of children his age who scream and shout and throw themselves on the floor out of terror when it comes to shots.  Bradley show so much courage in the face of his fear! 

Bradley with his new aircraft carrier, fully equipped with six fighter jets!

Bradley’s battle wounds 1 and 2.

Battle wound 3.

It’s good to be back home, even with all the woes that reality brings.  On the way to work there was a loud squealing and then burning rubber and smoke, long story late to work, yada yada.  Then on the way home my car died completely.  I was stranded for a few hours, but help was on the way.  Long story short, Chris just replaced my alternator belt, but thinks the reason the belt broke is my air conditioner compressor.  Great.  I’m not totally impressed with this Nissan so far, btw.  Well, for now it’s temporarily fixed, and will get me to work, as long as I don’t push the AC button.  Great.

Lets go back to fairytale land, shall we?  Our New York City trip was fabulous!  Wonderful!!!  Stupendous!!!!  We had the best time together!  It was cold, but not too cold.  Here are some pictures!

Me, infront of Bloomingdales which was about 5 blocks from our hotel.

Chris, infront of Serendipity3, and us at our table.  Serendipity is known for their frozen hot chocolate, but I didn’t try it.  Is that a crime?  I did have their mocha late and it was pretty darn yummy though.

Me on 61st street somewhere around 3rd Ave.  The streets remind me of so many movie scenes I’ve seen.

The view from our hotel room.  28th floor!

The view down Park Ave. (I think?)

St. Patrick’s Cathedral.  We walked through during Sunday morning mass.  Whoa.  I’m so glad I’m not Catholic.  I don’t think I’d ever want to go to church.  But, it was an interesting experience.

Ice skating at Rockefeller Plaza!  Can you spot Chris and me?  Don’t spend too long looking, because we didn’t shell out the 48 bucks to skate!

Times Square.  Chris and I agreed that we would never ever ever ever want to be here on New Year’s Eve.

On the outskirts of Central Park.

Central Park

So beautiful.

Outside the theater before the show.

Me before the show.

 You are not going to believe this one!  Chris came home from work on Friday and said, “Pack your bags, we’re headed to New York City for the weekend!”  What?!?!  Some of you know that my dad works for an airline, so our airfare is free, and the only real cost was a hotel room.  Needless to say, I was surprised!  I suddenly felt like Cinderella going to the ball with no dress though!  I seriously have NO winter clothes!  I’m barely scraping by, trying to get through a north Florida winter, much less New York temperatures!  So Friday night we did a little shopping and managed to find a few things.  All the stores had a wide variety of bathing suits though!  I also dug through a box of old clothes in my closet and found two turtle necks.  I just plan on layering, layering, layering!  I’m super excited, and I’m writing this as we sit in a Baltimore airport!  Sunday night we have tickets to see The Lion King on Broadway and also plan on seeing some of the sights in Central Park and ice skating in Rockefeller Plaza!!  I hope to get in at Serendipity for a little dessert tonight too!  I am beyond excited and promise to post pictures as soon as I can!

I am the coach of our school’s reading bowl team.  Every year we read a state selected list of books, and then compete against the other schools in the county in a brain bowl style competition.  I was so thrilled and proud this morning when the team from our school that I’ve been coaching all year placed third in our county!  We got a big trophy and I couldn’t be prouder of my students!  They’ve worked so hard this year, and we have had so much fun along the way, reading and practicing.  They showed the utmost in sportmanship, and I would have been proud of them win or lose, but it sure was nice to WIN!  Last year, we didn’t do as well, but this year, I was prepared!  With experience under my belt we went in swinging!  I just couldn’t be happier!!!!  I love my job!!!!  I’m already looking forward to the list of next years books to come out so I can start reading!!!